Gaelin Murphy

Gaelin Murphy

https://caoilin8murphy.wixsite.com/astra-knights // ig: @astra_knights

Connection is an especially important part of my art. I want to form a connection between the viewer and the art in a personal way. To create that relationship with the viewer, I focus on storytelling and creating a story itself through set dressing, such as what items are in the room or what the culture of fashion dictates based on the subject’s clothes, and what I allow the viewer to see verses what they do not see. The stories are often bold in nature, focusing on subjects and issues that I don’t see explored commonly in artwork. Such as the struggles of dealing with the guilt of terrible actions and the growth no one sees and carrying the weight of trauma that makes living unbearable.

I approach these subjects usually with digital 2D animation or video art, due to how personal these subjects are. I tend to stay close to my comfort zone with my medium and style of choice since I’ve been doing it for over 6 years. I present these subjects similarly to chucking a baseball as hard as you can at someone’s face, with desperation to get the negative feelings out with little regard to how it affects the person on the other end. Often, I feel alone in my own headspace, and I use art to connect with others. I’m awful at expressing how I feel with words. I feel desperate to get my feelings out even though while making the art, nothing would make me feel better than to give up. The connection I’m searching for isn’t as skin-deep as I stated at the start, I’m looking for a connection that makes the pain more bearable. The connection between like-minded people. The connection with those who don’t understand but are scared for me. Any connection would be the connection I want. Me being seen as I am and making a connection with others is all I want.

Guilt is something we carry with us years after the fact. It continues to haunt us and taunt us with what we had before and what we lost because of what we did. Sherwin is in the middle of a major depressive episode that has been going on for months after his girlfriend, Lanie, left him and as a matter of consequence she was assaulted by Sherwin’s closest friend. Wracked with guilt, he has lost all sense of time after the event and is haunted by severe hallucinations of past events leading up to Lanie’s assault. He awakes everyday to go through the motions of hallucinations to punish himself in his own personal form of hell. He wishes to constantly remind himself of the good he had and how it was his fault Lanie left and how it was his friend who assaulted her after she was no longer his, making her assault indirectly his fault. Sherwin’s inability to let go of the guilt of his past actions is a cautionary tale of the dangers of allowing your guilt and past mistakes manifest in a self-destructive way. I have the stance that if you feel guilty for your past actions, you have already grown past the person you once were.